Seek Ye First

When I was young and silly, I was a love object. I would tell a girl that I love her—and she would object. Seriously, I lost count of being “busted” ever since high school. By the time I reached my 40s, my dream girl remained just that: a dream.

Worse, I was retrenched due to the 1997 Asian currency crisis. I never felt so low, so empty, so anguished in my entire life. Oh yes, I wept. I journaled. I hustled. But my job hunt proved fruitless.

Understandably, I put my sorry excuse for a love life on hold. After all, even if God would grant me a girlfriend, how was I supposed to pay for dates, let alone propose marriage?

Two years being jobless and loveless grinded on my self-esteem. I don’t remember the exact date, but there was a point when I prayed, “Lord, I’m so tired. Even if I won’t get a new job or get married for the rest of my life, I will serve you by teaching Your Word.”

Little did I know that about the same time, Lucy was praying similarly. She had her share of many suitors, but accepted none of them. At the time, she was holding a high rank in a well-known multinational FMCG company. Meantime, she was active with a newly planted church, which met at the function room of a condo building in Makati.

It came to the point that she prayed “Lord, I will be content to be single forever. I do have one request. I want our church to grow. Please send us a Bible teacher. And I want him to come from CCF.”

Soon after, Lucy saw a familiar face in the church service. “I know you,” she said, “You’re Johann from CCF. What are you doing here?”

“Well,” Johann replied, “I live in one of the condo units here and since I learned about this church, I decided to worship here.”

“This church wants to hold a weekly Bible study. Do you know of anyone who can teach it?”

“I sure do.”

Johann invited me to be one of the teachers. Thus, there were three of us: Lucy’s pastor, Johann, and myself, each teaching one group through the Gospel of John.

And yes, I’m from CCF too.

Again, yes, Lucy joined my group.

I still remember what Lucy wore the first time I set eyes upon her. White, sleeveless blouse; matching white pants; open-toe sandals. Oh, and a smile that restored light into a dark life. (Later, Lucy admitted that when she met me, she was looking at my ring finger. Yep, not yet taken.)

I was smitten, but I had to hold back. Jobless, remember?

Lucy confided with Johann about her feelings about me. Crafty fellow that he was, Johann arranged a “blind date.” He made me go to the lobby of a five-star Makati hotel and look for a woman holding a red rose. One guess who that woman was.

Over the following months, as Lucy and I got to know each other, there was a growing awareness that it would be wonderful for us to get married. But that was when I knew God has a weird sense of humor.

I used to have a job, but no girlfriend. Then I had neither job nor girlfriend. Now I had a girlfriend, but no job. I simply cannot win!

But Lucy and I prayed: If indeed we were meant to get married, my being the breadwinner should be part of the package. Soon after, a headhunter dug up a resume I had long forgotten I sent her. To cut the long story short, I got a new job in one of the biggest conglomerates in the country.

Lucy and I had one more hurdle: our families’ blessing. My dad had long passed away, so it was my uncle (my mom’s younger brother) who led the pamanhikan to Lucy’s mom and her family. When my future mother-in-law asked me if I could support Lucy, I thanked God I had the answer.

Then she asked my uncle, “Do you approve of this marriage?”

I could still remember my Uncle Calixto’s wide grin as he replied, without batting an eyelash, “Approved! 100 percent!”

I swear, Lucy’s mother had tears in her eyes as she slowly nodded.

To this day, Lucy and I are humbled that we can share our story to singles who feel the pressure of years without prospects in sight. But we encourage two major principles.

First, character counts. It pays to wait for the right person rather than jump headlong and marry the wrong one. God rewards those who refuse to compromise on belief, principles, family values and godly character.

Second, in the “meantime” years, let God satisfy you so utterly that when He gives you your beloved — His time, His way – it will be but a bonus. I like to quip “Seek ye first the kingdom and his righteousness, and your spouse will be added unto you.” Okay. It’s not a promise guaranteed for everyone. It doesn’t even appear in the NIV or NASB.

But it does in the NTD. As in Nelson Tan Dy. And the rest, they say, is romantic history.