It’s only natural for parents to want their children to succeed in life. But there are also times when their high expectations are too much for their children to meet and they end up placing too much pressure on them. This is why it’s important for parents to balance their expectations for their kids while also respecting their own goals and ambitions.
In an episode of Teach With Joy on Plus Network, author, wife, and homeschooling mom Joy Mendoza got to talk to PBA legend Marc Pingris and actress and TV host Danica Sotto-Pingris about how they manage expectations on their children. Even though they are successful figures in sports and entertainment, Marc and Danica still give their children freedom when it comes to deciding what their interests are. Danica says that while they want their kids to get into very good schools when they enter college, they have no specific schools or universities in mind and leave it up to them.
And while they want them to focus on their studies first, they also wouldn’t stop their children should they wish to follow in Danica’s footsteps and enter show business. Meanwhile, Marc admits that he considers their children’s grades as important. And since he had to work at an early age, he encourages their children to finish their studies. Danica, meanwhile, shares that as long as their kids give their best, it’s okay for them to make mistakes, as this is also one way for them to learn.
At this point, their children’s career ambitions and goals are still not definite, but Marc and Danica make it a point to communicate to them about it. Aside from talking to them about their goals and ambitions, they also make it a point not to put too much pressure on their children and give them the freedom to make names for themselves. Marc also shares the upbringing of his mother to their children as well as telling them what’s right and wrong. He says that talking about the hardships they experienced will help teach their kids not to take their blessings for granted.
As the daughter of a famous actor and actress, Danica is aware of how it feels to be compared to others. This is why they try to support their children without putting too much pressure on them as well as avoiding comparing them to other kids. Both parents agree that it is important to recognize the skills and talents of their children without forcing them to be a certain way. Danica encourages other parents to talk to their children about their interests and listen to them even when they don’t like these interests, as this could also be a learning experience for parents.
Once they communicate with their children, they will know what they like and what interests them and can encourage them, since it’s hard to give advice if parents are not aware of these interests. Danica adds that if parents know their children well, they will know what to say, their trigger points, and the words that will melt their hearts. She adds that parents shouldn’t compare themselves and their children to what they see on social media. When it comes to pressure and expectations, she tells her children, “you do you!” And lastly, she says that while it’s a good thing to be inspired by other parents and other kids, they shouldn’t imitate them since every family is different and has unique family dynamics.
To summarize, Mendoza says that through her talk with Danica and Marc, she learned that it’s important for parents to have open communication with their children. Parents should also guide their children and set boundaries with them, but also shouldn’t be pressured by other families. As parents watch their kids grow and develop their own goals and ambitions, it’s important for them to remember to manage their expectations and know that God has a specific design and purpose for each family.